This is prime religious season for us Guineys. Passover and Easter all coming together at once — a seder Saturday night, Easter dinner on Sunday. I’m sure this might seem weird to many, especially since we have kids. When D and I got married and decided we would practice both religions and raise our kids as both, we were met with varying degrees of skepticism, if not outrage. I always use this time of year to take a quick look at how we have managed this admittedly iconoclastic approach to religion, and I’m pleased to say that, perhaps against all odds, it has worked. It has worked well for D and I individually, and has worked well for the kids. Each of them feels comfortable with each religion and its community. Each kid considers himself to have a spiritual side to his nature and is eager to ask the “big questions.” And perhaps most importantly of all, each kid has grown up to be tolerant of others, open to different ways of thinking, and respectful of this incredibly diverse world we live in. As we all know, the Last Supper was a Seder, and although paths might have diverged over time, many of us come from the same stock. This is a good moment to remember that.
creations which have made the world a better place. Of course, I’m not advocating this for everyone or even anyone. It’s just nice to think every now and again that perhaps one of the most difficult and controversial decisions of my life has turned out well.
What a great blog post, you and your family are a wonderful and inspiring example of integration and harmony. Happy Passover and Easter to you all!
What a wonderful thing to have done – though, as you say, we’re all from the same stock, so to my mind, in makes perfect sense.
Wishing you well for Pesach and Easter!
Tania and Ab Va: Thanks! Maybe you can imagine the hassle we went through all those years ago when we decided this was going to be our “method.” I’m not saying that what we’ve done is “right,” but I guess I still believe it’s not “wrong.” Happy holidays to you, too!
Inspiring sentiments, Sue! Would that the rest of the world could be so tolerant!
Very thoughtful post. I think it’s great that kids can ask those bigger questions. Was it John Wesley who said “Think or be damned?” Thinking is a good thing.
Clare: Maybe if we all do a little of what we can things will change…well, a girl can dream, eh?
Jon: “Think or be damned” – I like that, except when I’m writing poetry, in which case “thinking” gets in the way more than anything else for me 🙂
I think that’s amazing Sue. Most couples if they are of different religions, one has to convert but you chose that bravest of options and it has obviously worked. Brilliant. Lucky kids to have such forward thinking parents.
BT: Don’t know how lucky they are, really, since it’s been harder for them. But. it seems to have worked. Thanks!
I was about to say that it must be hard for the kids. They must feel that they don’t belong anywhere. I hope they’re strong enough to override the natural herding instincts of children. This isn’t meant as criticism. If it works, that’s great! ~Miriam
Miriam – Of course, you’re right and that was our big concern. (No criticism taken). I think it might have worked for us because both my husband and I took both religions and cultures equally seriously, and also within our families there were 2 strong cultures that the kids were welcomed into. I suppose the bad news is that our society is so secularized that they never felt like outcasts from their peers. Also, we found that the closeness they found from one religion to the other has been “developmentally” appropriate. At the times when they identified more closely with me, they felt “more” Jewish. When they identified more closely with their dad they felt more “Catholic.” Now as proto-adults, they switch back and forth depending on the situation, but I do expect that much of what they do as adults will depend on their choice of wives. I think it’s still true that the woman often sets that tone. But as long as they remember and respect their upbringings, then we’re happy. Thanks so much for taking the time to comment here!
What a beautiful story. I can only imagine how hard the decision must have been at the time, but it sounds like your children are better for it. I hope you enjoyed the holidays.
Thanks, Angie. Hope your hols were good, too!