This is one of those looking back to look forward posts…
About 3 or 4 years ago I decided I desperately, DESPERATELY, needed to meet some other writer/artist-types. I had a wonderful family, marvellous friends, but I didn’t know anyone who even came remotely close to doing what I did. There I was scribbling away in some closed off room, hardly ever believing I would ever get published and not at all understanding why I was doing all this anyway, and I had no one to discuss it with. That’s when I started trawling around the internet to find a retreat, a place I could go and meet other people crazy in the same was as I was/am crazy. Well, “trawling” makes it sound a bit more dramatic than it really was. I had an idea that such a place existed in Ireland, so I googled “writer’s retreat Ireland” and the first link on the list was Anam Cara. So I went.
Sue Booth-Forbes, the creative genius behind this amazing place, is not very demanding. The only thing she insists on is that you show her in some way that you have a project that you want to pursue and you are serious about spending your time pursuing it. I had a project….a novel which eventually became Tangled Roots. But my real unspoken goal was to meet other writers, which I did and continue to do every time I go. In two days, I head back up to West Cork for my sixth (?) visit. With any luck and a fair wind, I will finish the first draft of the Cambodia novel. But just as importantly, I’ll meet more artists, more people who talk about process, more people who obsess about commas (ah…commas….).
But what amazes me, really, is now to roll the film forward and see what I have been doing these past few days in the lead-up to my next trip. On Saturday, I had lunch with four writers from the site “Bloggers With Book Deals.” Debi Alper, Nicola Monaghan, Leigh Russell and Robin (forgive me for not getting your last name!!!). We sat for nearly two hours talking about writerly things, complaining about the state of the industry, reassuring each other and ourselves about the state of our creative output and the reasons why we continue in this crazy pursuit of ours. Today, I am having lunch with Vanessa Gebbie, the wonderful fiction writer who I first met at Anam Cara a few years ago. Tomorrow I’m having a drink with Nicky Schmidt, another writer who I have come to know via blogging and is here visiting from South Africa. Others will be joining us, too, though I’m not sure exactly who other than Debi — who I’ve felt like I’ve known forever and will now be seeing twice in one week!
So what’s the point? The point for me is that listening to my own needs and forcing myself out into the world was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I was petrified going to Anam Cara for the first time, petrified to talk to all these other people I was so very desperate to meet. But desperation can be a powerful impetus and now, a few short years later, my life is full of people “like” me. I am part of a real community. I am no longer alone. There’s a lot of crazy shit going on in the publishing industry today, much of it scary and discouraging. But my friends and I are in the middle of it, we stand together and that’s even more than I had ever dared hope for.
It’s my birthday on Thursday, 28th May. I think I’ve already gotten my present.
PS Not sure of the internet access up there, so if you don’t hear
from me for a week, you’ll know where I am and that I’m happy!
I agree. Where I live in France is the perfect place for writing but all the other English here are morons. There is not one like minded person amongst them. I have to rely on the web.
Yep, I too understand this.
My family (in UK) and friends (in Bangkok) are great and supportive but it is the blogging friends who understand that are crucial. Saying that, it’d be good to have writing friends in the flesh here…
I hope you have a wonderful time at Anam Cara.
I have never been on a group type retreat, though I did go away for a long weekend to finish writing Without Alice. Hapy birthday for Thursday.
It was so lovely to see you yesterday, and to talk through all sorts of important things! May our plans blossom, and may you have the most wonderful week at Anam Cara. Give my love to Sue. I look forward to hearing whether the rooms are now invaded by the dreaded internet………
Scary? Discouraging? And I can think of a few more adjectives to describe the publishing industry!
(Am I turning into one of those Grumpy Old Men…)
Have a good birthday, Sue.
Glyn: Funny how the world has become both smaller and larger at the same time. I never would have expected the web to be that important to me personally.
JJ: You’d love Anam Cara. Maybe next time you come over this way?
DJ: This particular group is as intense or not as you want. We eat meals together but other than that you can be as reclusive or social as feels right. For me, after a long day of intense writing, I become surprisingly social and outgoing 🙂
Vanessa: Your ears will be ringing all week I’m sure.
Joe: Let’s hear it for grumpy old people – one of the privileges of “enjoying” another birthday. Thanks.
One day I will go there. Oh yes. In the meantime, I’m thankful for the writing buddies I’ve made on the net. Some I’ve met in real life, some not yet but all so brilliant. It would be a lonely old business without them.
Have a great birthday Sue and a wonderful time away.
Hope you had fun today too. Wish I could have made it:-)
The internet is a truly magical place!!!
I hope you achieve everything you are hoping to at your retreat and that you have a fab birthday!!
C x
Have a great birthday, Sue. Mine is on Sunday. My husband and I are going to dinner with two poet friends, Nancy Mattson and Mike Bartholomew-Biggs. I’ve met many poets by going to readings, belonging to PEN and the Poetry Society, just getting out and about in London. Mike and Nancy met each other at Arvon, though, and they’ve been married for more than 10 years. So retreats – you never can tell! And the internet, too.
Enjoy your week. Ireland is so beautiful!
I just read this, so I’m a bit late. In the ‘run up’ to your Irish week, you do not mention your visit to the blogless poor of North London, carrying a basket of nourishing manuscript pages to feed their minds, so starved of Internet relationships . And in return they gave you their gifts of helpful feedback and encouragement. They too are writers, engaged in making things with words. And they love you and feel they are ‘like’ you. They too offer a ‘writerly’ exchange. They are real, they are here, are they not part of your ‘community?’
We all hope you’re having a magical week at anam cara.
with love from the ‘B’ list
(really!)xx
Kate: I read this 1 second ago during a tea break and am postponing the writing to respond. Oh No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This blog posting was about meeting otherwise virtual friends from the blogosphere. You guys are in another category exactly. You’re not my B list. You’re not even my A list. You’re my…what comes before A?…my “in-the-door-I-can’t-even-set-up-the-list-without-you list.” I never meant to overlook you. Nothing works without you guys. Forgive me!?!
Hope your birthday was a blast, Sue.
It’s been great making the switch from virtuality to reality and meeting you (twice!) in the huggable flesh.
Hope the retreat gives you nourishment and look forward to developing the relationship more. (It’s been 5 days since I saw you and I miss you!)