I’ll start with the update. The news is good, though complicated. All the tests indicated that the only cancer is that one nasty group of cells and nothing else, anywhere else. That is really, actually, all the news that matters. It means that we can go for a surgical cure (I love it when doctors use the word cure) and that I won’t need any subsequent chemotherapy. The difficulty comes, though, in the location of the tumor. It is situated in a very tight space, squished in between all the organs of my lower abdomen. Getting it removed, and ensuring that there are no other lingering cancer cells in the margins (part of the new cancer lingo I am picking up) will be tricky and complex. The surgery will take about five hours, and I’ll be in the hospital for about ten days after, and then at home for a while recovering. But that is fine with me. I can put up with anything knowing that in the end, I’ll be fine.
But I do want to write about the tendency which I, and probably many, have had in times like these to wonder why? And specifically why is my body doing this to me? For a very large portion of my life I felt as if I equalled my head. Sue Guiney was all the stuff crammed between my ears, and my body was just this thing I used to carry the real me around the planet. So when things went wrong with my body, it felt like this alien was doing something to me. That meant that in order to conquer what was going on, I would need to engage in a battle against my own body. Me against it. Over the years, I eventually came to understand how wrong an idea that was. But now more than ever I have fully taken on the truth that my body is me. My head is part of my body which is part of my thoughts and feelings, and all of it is part of something beyond the 5’1″ case which the world sees as Sue. Call it nature. Call it the animal kingdom. Whatever. The truth is I exist as part of something greater, and all sorts of troubles and joys, creations and destructions are happening all the time. My cancer is one part of it, and my cancer is , in fact, me.
This might sound a bit new-agey to some. But I have found it comforting. It has allowed me to walk away from the anger and fear. It has helped me accept what is happening, and by no longer resisting it, discover much more energy to overcome it.
Yes, you will be fine my dearest Sue. ❤️
A lot of wisdom here. I have been trying to learn the same thing Sue. This is not new agey this is smart. I have also come to find comfort in realizing my mind/body is alive as part of a living planet-sort of like a mind within a mind thinking. Thank you for your wisdom and your courage to speak out .
So glad the cancer hasn’t spread! That’s great news. The rest is just “stuff” to be endured. You have a great attitude which is already helping you so much. As my sister, Libby, who has had numerous bouts with cancer says, “ Now cancer is mostly, a condition rather than a fatality.” Nevertheless, not much fu .
Thinking of all of you guys.
I am sorry to know you’re going through this but good to read that the cancer appears to be contained and can be surgically removed. Sending you all the best wishes and prayers!
Wow! Great perspective. I really appreciate hearing your thoughts! Xox
This really is good news, Sue. Phew news too! I love the way you are thinking about it too – tells me you will be fine. You may remember I went through some of those thought processes to after my brain haemorrhage, realising I wasn’t, after-all, just a creature of air, but a very complicated piece of animal biology. I found it liberating too. So all good and optimistic wishes for your complete recovery. Colin
Glad you are sharing your journey, so we can all be in this together, Sue. How smart to embrace this new you on the path to a cure. All the better the five hours of surgery and the ten days recovery in the hands of masters who take their time doing their craft with great expertise and care. Vive modern medicine! I think summer is a great time to recuperate and I picture you at the beach! with dear Don, no better companion for this adventure ~