“Closure.” My favourite psychobabble word because it’s something that does seem to work. Once you reach closure you can finally put those difficult times behind you. Sometimes external forces bring the closure to you. Other times, you have to stand up, say “enough already” and slam that door closed. And so a few months ago I decided it was time to close the bluechrome chapter of my writing life and move on.
As many of you know, bluechrome was my publisher and published both of my books. Sure, there were struggles along the way, as there seem to be with many small, indie presses. There were deadlines nearly missed. Printers suddenly going out of business. Royalty checks lost in the post — that one, I hope, is not common to small publishers but was a symptom of the troubles plaguing my own small house. And then, poof, there was nothing – no emails returned, no website, no new books, no news of any sort. For six months or so I received emails from fellow bluechromers, and soon-to-be bluechromers, asking if I had heard anything, asking what I was doing about my apparently lost publisher. For a long time, I did nothing other than worry. Then I wrote a few emails “as a friend” asking if everyone was okay. I never heard back. Then, finally, I sent a letter legally withdrawing my contract citing various breaches. The letter came back stamped “Addressee No Longer Here.”
I’ve spent a lot of space on this blog promoting bluechrome. I’m not here today to do otherwise. I am writing, instead, to tell you about how I have found a way to reach “closure.” I decided to have a party. Maybe a wake, but maybe that’s being too dramatic. In any event I contacted all the bluechrome writers I knew and asked if anyone would be interested in having one last event where we can share our work, swap some stories, drink some wine, and buy some books. The response was overwhelmingly positive. Clearly, I was not the only one needing closure. And so on Thursday, 22 April there will be a special event, and I hope any of you who happen to be in London on that evening will come along as we wave goodbye to the past and sail off into our futures:
Beyond Blue: A Reading by Bluechrome Authors
Thursday, 22 April 6.30 pm
St Benet’s Church
Queen Victoria Street EC4
Unfortunately, some were not able to make this date, and they will be missed, though I know they’ll be there in spirit. But those who will be there, either to read or just to lend their support are, among others, Ruth O’Callaghan, Patrick Osada, Joe Stein, Sue Rose, Jim Bennett, Patricia Debney, Leah Fritz, Adele Ward, Carolyn Oulton.
So I’m giving you two weeks warning. Do try to come if you can. I’m determined to make it a celebration. Yes, the end of bluechrome brought all sorts of fears and anger and frustration. But for me, at least, the beginning and the middle of bluechrome was all about dreams realized, a community found, an identity acknowledged. My life as a public writer started with bluechrome. For a while it was wonderful, and I am very grateful. So I’ll be celebrating on the 22nd, and hope some of you can come along and join me. And to make it even more enticing, all proceeds will go to the Cold Weather Shelter charity, and we are welcoming any poet who comes to leave a copy of one of their poems behind to be considered for the anthology now published annually in support of the charity (thanks to the herculean efforts of Ruth O’Callaghan).
I hope that I’ll have some news on the next chapter of my writing life to share with you soon. But in the meantime, I’m still singing…..
What a great idea Sue. I wish I was nearer and could come! (Can’t bring it forward to tomorrow, I suppose…?)
Dot: Alas, I wish i could but….Oh well. But some have talked about taking the show on the road. Maybe some of us could come to near you????
It’s a sad story. Bluechrome gave me my first publishing credit so I won’t forget them. But what a wondeful way to find closure.
A very sad story, indeed, and I think many hover between sadness and anger over these procedures. For me it has just been a large financial loss AND the loss of a good friend/lousy publisher (who also made me laugh).
I would love to be there, Sue. Would love to share this with you all, but you know why I can’t. Will think of you all, though, and feel that this is a splendid idea to ‘close the bluechrome door’.
I’m so glad you’re doing this. I think it’s important – psychobabble or not – to put things to sleep.
I’ll raise a glass with you on the 22nd. Jjxx
I was only let down by bluechrome in the smallest of very small ways, yet I was still upset and angry, so it’s hard to imagine how awful it has been for people whose livelihoods and/or careers have been so badly affected. Your event offers a gracious, loving way to move on, and I hope it helps everyone involved to do just that.
It’s a sad story but I’m glad your celebrating what has gone before rather than being annoyed at what is going on now. Hopefully, depending on my work load, I will be able to come along!!
C x
Well first I must admit you are a better woman than me. I do not suffer a coward well- if you failed, if your business collpased at the very least call people tell them what is up. Hiding is just not on.
Also I give you 10 points for your party. I think it is a wonderful idea.
Wise, wise woman, Sue!
It’s a sad story but kudos to you for the way you’re dealing with it. Closure is so critically important if we are ever to move on.
Enjoy your “wake”!
Oh how I wish I could join you but I’ll be in London on the 20th not the 22nd 🙁 Thank you so much for inviting me even though I was only a bluechrome ‘author in waiting’. This party is SUCH a good idea and there are some very fabulous people attending. I’ll be thinking of you all on the night and wishing everyone a wonderful time.